I stared at the word ‘January‘ for a while as I looked at today’s date, then told to myself, “It’s a new year…“
It doesn’t feel like a new year to me at all because it did not even feel like a year has passed. I admit that I have been pretty lost in time or what Xuannie calls it – “In your own world” and in fact, I did not summarise my 2011 because I find no words for it.
If I have to find a word to describe it, the closest will probably be ‘complicated‘. But it doesn’t mean it wasn’t a good year or I did not enjoy at all (:
I have in fact enjoyed 2011 a lot due to my participation in Chingay and NDP, which are probably the highlights of the year (especially the latter) and also the “turning point” for me in the sense that I reignited another passion in my life.
Met new people and made many new friends in the year and everyone made me feel really loved, making me truly glad to have known them too. Just that in the midst of indulging in this slight popularity and being loved by everyone, I lost track and went too far ahead.
It’s like in a maze – You are enjoying it so much that you kept going and going without watching your way. Then at a point you realised that you may have taken the wrong path, so now you either turn back or continue and just walk aimlessly or hope for a miracle – discover an alternative path or something.
Things got complicated and sometimes they are so complicated that I have learnt to just keep them to myself, because unless being in my shoes, no one will truly get it. Really. So rather keep a low profile than being judged.
I really do hope things will get better now, even though I don’t exactly know what “better” means. In order to have something being better, you always need another thing to compare. But which should you compare it with? The past, or the future?
Perhaps it also depends on how you look at it. I may not be happier now but all the things that had happened, despite the complications, I enjoyed my time in this maze (: