Have been lagging behind for so many posts that I don’t know when I’m gonna have time to start on my Europe posts =/
Back to MINDS for the first time since I’m back and we had our annual bowling outing with the residents! Did not take many photos because as expected, my partner was nowhere to be found until close to dinner time, so I had to take charge~
It was freaking cold there and I was busy hopping around! But touched by the lil‘ 雪中送炭 hot Milo act! And touched by my sweet resident who gave me lots of love too!!! She drew for a few of us and she said she would remember my share because I am pretty…HAHAHAHAHA. So cute one!
Went for my first NDP practice for the year too after missing the previous one~ But this year is kinda different from the previous years because of a different role. As much as I wanna stay as just a participant in my heart, the responsibilities are weighing on our shoulders that we can no longer be like before.
The only advantage is that I get to skip the annual audition, which is the part I hate the most. Apart from that, there are actually more disadvantages than advantages for now. Firstly, we gotta wear that ugly green shirt, which already differentiate us from the rest. Secondly, when we were first asked to help out as AGL, we were only told that we would be helping out the main group leaders for formations. But on our first week, we were told that we have to learn the dance in advance and teach the rest as well!
Dancing has never been my forte despite my passion for performing. Even Mommeyyyy had commented a few times that I can sing, but not dance. Whenever I am questioned why I join NDP year after year, my answer is always because I like to dance but I AM NOT GOOD AT IT, so NDP gives me a platform to do what I enjoy without being judged or stressed upon. But with this new role, it is an entirely different story now.
I am a super duper slow learner and not forgetting to mention how bad my memory is; my colleagues know best. I usually take a longer time to pick things up than others because of this and so even for every year’s NDP, I may be able to catch faster than the aunties, but I am still lagging behind as compared to many others! It usually takes weekssss for me to finally remember the steps, let alone getting them right, so having to master so many steps in the advance reporting time of 1.5 hour is totally a mission impossible for me. Dancing is a talent to me, not a skill that you can just master overnight!
I am not even a dancer and it is just ridiculous to imagine myself teaching it. I don’t mind guiding people, but I usually do it only when I am confident enough, just like I like to teach but I only teach subjects that I am confident in. And right now, I am totally not confident with the steps at all! Yet I have to be standing in front of the auditionees, guiding them steps that even I can hardly remember, and probably confusing them with my countless of mistakessssss.
I am still struggling so hard and the last thing I wanna hear is really people saying things like, “Even trainers also don’t know“. I’m glad I wasn’t the one who got this insult, but I know I will hear it sooner or later and I am already dreading it.
I’m afraid the stress level would kill my passion bit by bit and make me look less forward each week~ I also don’t get to hang out with the rest because I have other responsibilities now other than being just a participant and the only time I get to see them was during dinner break, or sometimes not even that.
I am still eager to learn, but the amount of responsibilities that came before we could even learn is pretty much different from what we were told initially. Nevertheless, I will still stick to my kiang tio ho, mai kay kiang principle and only help when I can. I would rather be seen as “skiving” than to be teaching the wrong thing or confusing the others and then get backfired.
Was actually mad tired after a continuous 5 hours of dance, but I felt bad that I barely spent time with the girls the whole day, so I joined them at Bugis for llao llao! Take it as rewarding myself after a tiring day! (:
Re-edit for Super Senior continues and then it was chilling time with the APs after work~!
Me, Ally, my AP aka buddy’s good friend, my ex-director aka the “secret lover” who always give me Han Wei’s photos as cards -_-“, and new AP who is an Hong Kong actor’s son! Shall not reveal who but handsome right~ 电死不少女生了哦。。。hahaha!
Had another birthday treat and this time round from Mojo and Chienny! To save the hassle of thinking of where to dine, we decided to go back to Sumire Yakitori House since the food is nice!
Thank you for the angbao-sponsor for my swimsuit! Hehe! Speaking of swimsuit, Chii Hian and I were busy with our swimsuit-scout from Queensway to Chinatown to AMK, but to no avail~ Couldn’t find anything we like and all the swimsuits are really expensive these days! Sigh!